Bella Dyosa

As you read this, you may or may not be drowned by the lovey dovey vibes that come with Valentine’s Day (literally the day after I publish this). If the latter is your case, don’t worry–what we’re about to discuss isn’t timebound anyway.

So… love. We know it’s all around us and it comes in many forms. Thanks to the consistency of change in society, we’ve come to accept, embrace, and promote formerly unconventional types of love like self-love.

I, myself, am a huge fan of self-love. I’m all about being that strong independent woman, go-getter, girlboss, badass bitch.

I don’t need anyone to take care of me, because I can take care of me. I don’t need some rando to tell me I’m beautiful, because I know I am. And I sure as hell don’t need someone else to satisfy my downstairs department, because I can get the job done perfectly fine.

Yes, I don’t need these things. But henny, here’s the catch: I want them.

You read that right.

I can take care of myself, but it’d be nice to have extra care. I am confident and highly aware that I’m beautiful inside out, but getting bonus validation is cute and kilig. And while sex on my own is the bomb, it just hits different with your person.

I WANT romantic love and I’m not afraid to admit that. Passionate, best friends and lovers, can’t eat, can’t sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, World Series kind of love (if you get this reference, ILY). Though on second thought, maybe minus the “can’t eat, can’t sleep”, because yo girl prioritizes being well fed and well rested.

I think we forget that it’s more than OKAY to want this type of love, to want companionship with a life partner. It doesn’t make you any less of a feminist or a human being. In fact, what is a human being without human connection?

For as long as I can remember, people associate being strong and independent (especially for women) with standing alone. You’re more than welcome to care about family and friends, but forget about a boyfriend or a girlfriend–they’re only going to bring you down and taint your tough, badass image!

You are weak if you love all that ooey gooey mushy stuff!! You are embarrassing yourself by expressing any ounce of interest in romance!!! Because you’re supposed to live and die alone anyway.

Although this may ring true for some and I don’t mind ending up alone (as opposed to settling for mediocre company), is it really that bad to want romantic love?

The answer is hell fucking no.

As long as you want it for yourself and because it makes you genuinely happy. Don’t go searching for love from a state of lack. Because as I mentioned earlier, love comes in many forms. The most important one can be found within. Everything outside of ourselves are nice-to-haves.

Too many people seek out romantic love from the pressure of societal norms as well. That is a whole other rabbit hole that I’d rather not dive into. But you can tell nosy Susie to stop making obnoxious comments about your love life. You will get yourself a boo when YOU feel like it. In your own time at your own pace.

Furthermore, it’s not bad to not want romantic love either. We each have different wants and needs in life, wherever and whenever we are in it.

I just happen to be an individual with very Venusian asks. No BS, no judgements.

And trust me, when you find your person and allow yourself to revel in that rare, crazy wonderful love, it’s one of the most indescribable experiences in the world.

So, to love or not to love?

(Well, if you haven’t already guessed…)

Love.

Please do. At least once in your lifetime. Love with every fiber of your being, with no regrets.

If all else fails, you still have yourself to come back home to.