Bella Dyosa

I used to think turning 30 was one of the worst milestones in life.

It isn’t that hard to, especially with the media and society’s general obsession with youth.

“Live fast, die young, and have a good-looking corpse,” was what the author, Willard Motley, said in his book, Knock on Any Door.

There was even an entire episode on Friends showing how “dreadful” (in its own comedic way) it is to turn 30. I am a huge fan of the show–don’t get me wrong–but looking back at it, I genuinely don’t see what the fuss is all about.

I loved turning 30. Dare I say that it was a lot better than turning 20. At least from my personal experience.

My 20s, similar to a lot of peers and friends, was a wonderful time for fast metabolism, high intensity activities (sometimes juggling a bunch of them at the same time), and being clueless.

The possibilities were endless and there were so many aspects of life and the world to explore – to the point that it got overwhelming sometimes.

I used to feel a huge amount of pressure figuring things out and accomplishing goal after goal. Because it was only a matter of time before I turned the big three-oh.

And once that hits, well, your life is O V E R. *insert dramatic gasp*

You see, that’s the thing about your 20s. There’s this tiny voice inside you telling you that you’re meant to just land the job that you love that pays well (cute), meet your soulmate/life partner, get married to said soulmate, and have kids with them while creating unforgettable memories with your chosen and/or biological family in one fell swoop.

Sounds absolutely fucking ridiculous, doesn’t it?

The route itself isn’t ridiculous, but the amount of milestones squished into a span of a decade does. If you’re a millennial or a Gen Z who managed to do all of that, bravo. I applaud you, especially if it’s everything you’ve ever wanted and more.

For the rest of us who spent most of our 20s bumping into soulmates turned frogs, dream jobs turned toxic nightmares, and battling inner demons while making the most of quality time with core friends and family, congratulations to you too!

We’re here and we’ve made it.

We’re at that point where we realize that life–pleasure, fulfillment, transformation, and so much more–doesn’t just end when you turn 30.

In fact, it’s only the beginning. As one goes through life with lots of endings and beginnings until the final curtain.

Speaking as someone who has just turned 30 roughly a month ago, I feel at peace. Truly.

I have a lot more confidence and love for myself than I ever did in my 20s, specifically the early years. I practice more gratitude and mindfulness, which allows me to see matters, from mundane to wild, in a different perspective.

I learned more about the gray areas in life and people. That the human experience is far from black and white. And who ever wants it to be that two-dimensional anyway?

My heart is cracked wide open to anything and everything the world has to offer (so far) thanks to the years leading up to it.

I’ve experienced jobs that pushed me to my limits and allowed me to witness just how strong and assertive I can be. Prompting me to stand on my own two feet without fear. To pinpoint what exactly it is I want to do and how to do it in a way that’s authentic to me.

I’ve experienced a few parts of the globe that opened my eyes to just how magical yet fragile life can be. Met people who restored my faith in humanity when situations were looking bleak and shitheads who need therapy, though still taught me to step into my power.

I’ve experienced friendships that accepted and loved me through it all, every phase one could possibly have – the ups and downs, the good and the bad, the surreal and boring. Bonds that stand the test of time and challenges, remaining resilient and teaching me the meaning of unconditional love. Despite the few that I’ve lost along the way, I am forever grateful for the people I’ve let in and shared wonderful moments with.

Above all else, I’ve experienced loving the greatest and most gorgeous person with every fiber of my soul and body without forgetting to take care of myself. Fighting the fear of the end and getting hurt. Only to fully understand that the hurt and the end don’t matter for as long as you listened to your heart throughout the journey. Serving as another deep testament to unconditional love.

And the best part is that there’s more to look forward to. With less fear of the unknown, less crippling anxiety about what other people think, less pressure to achieve your dreams by a certain point.

Because guess what? We are following no one else’s timeline but our own. Even when we turn 40, 50, 60, 70, 80 (if we’re lucky), and so on.

But since I’m here to get real about turning 30, these are the insights and learnings I have for now. And I hope it’s just as crazy beautiful for you.