Bella Dyosa

At the time that I’m writing this, news just broke out that Merriam-Webster dictionary’s word of the year is “authentic”. As I like to say here: coincidence? I THINK NOT!

Bear with me since I like to revel in these moments where the universe gives me a solid confirmation about the things I do.

Anyway, moving onto the actual content of this post. The topic of confidence and authenticity makes me giddy, because I know that my younger self would be very proud of how far I’ve come.

Building confidence isn’t the easiest journey to embark on, especially if you grew up surrounded by people who projected their insecurities onto you. Which isn’t hard to come by to be honest – if you had a loving family, you probably dealt with bullies in school, for example.

In general, society tends to shed a negative light on confidence. While yes, there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance, loving and owning who you truly are is an entirely different story.

So, if you’re thinking about how exactly you can do that, worry not! Here are my five tips on building confidence and owning your authentic self.

1. Get to know all sides of yourself.

I’ve mentioned this in a previous blog post, but it was more geared towards spirituality. Who would’ve thought? Building confidence can be spiritual!

Getting to know all sides of yourself–from your strengths and weaknesses, positive and negative traits, to weird and mundane characteristics and even your likes and dislikes–is essential to building confidence.

Because how can you own your whole, authentic self when you don’t know who you are? Or if you focus on just the bad versus the good or vice versa.

Self-awareness helps us get clarity. From there, we can operate from a place of neutrality, and eventually, compassion.

For example, if thick thighs is a feature that you consider to be bad, seeing it from an objective lens can help you point out how they serve you: they’re strong and help you walk.

That kind of statement alone can put things into perspective, allowing you to gain confidence about you initially thought was negative – and that it actually makes you unique.

2. Break out of your comfort zone.

You don’t have to skydive right away, but hey, maybe in a few years’ time. We can do it together!

Research has shown that pushing yourself out of your comfort zone can build your confidence. And it doesn’t have to be 0 to 100.

You can start by trying new things everyday, every week, every month, or all of the above. Even if it’s something as small as tasting cuisine you’ve always been curious about but never got around to trying.

Whether or not you end up liking it or succeeding, there’s still that sense of accomplishment, because your curiosity was fed. Depending on what you do, you might even face your fear.

Not only will that help you boost your confidence, it will also help you take a leap of faith with yourself. If that ain’t a beautiful way to own who you authentically are, I don’t know what is.

3. Speak your truth.

Similar to breaking out of your comfort zone, speaking your truth can feel daunting. That is, for people who are scared of being assertive (I used to be one of them).

There are people on the opposite side of the spectrum who will run their mouths for bluntness’ sake and call it a day.

Either way, it feels good when you are able to say what you mean and mean what you say (with kindness and respect).

It allows you to live in true alignment with your values and beliefs, which is one of the many ways to own your authentic self.

4. Find and redefine inspiration.

Whether it’s an empowering anthem you’d turn the volume up for or a role model you’ve looked up to since you were 5, finding inspiration is a beautiful way of building confidence.

There’s a reason why we resonate with certain people, music, art, places, and more. That’s our authentic self making themselves known!

That said, there is a thin line between getting inspired and feeling envious. I mention this, because I’m guilty of it myself and it’s a pattern that I’m working on.

As a human being, we can’t help but compare ourselves to peers or individuals going through a similar journey sometimes. It is easier said than done, however, we can turn that envy to inspiration.

If someone we know is living the life we’ve always wanted, then that just means it’s more than possible for you too. Witnessing it elsewhere is solid proof of it.

5. Embody unconditional love.

As I mentioned earlier on in the post, building confidence isn’t the easiest journey.

There will be days when you don’t feel so great about yourself. When you may stumble and fall, make mistakes.

When your shadow in whatever shape or form–as a limiting belief or old narrative–is gnawing at you to retreat and dim your light.

This is a point in your path where you need to give yourself grace and kindness. Embody unconditional love for yourself – do whatever you can to fill your own cup, whether it’s doing a digital detox, watching your favorite TV show, or taking a walk in nature.

After all, if you can’t give yourself unconditional love, how will you give it to others?

Final thoughts

I’m no professional, so as I tell my clients when tarot reading, take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. Each individual is different and what may work for me may not work for you.

I hope that these tips inspired or motivated you in some way and if you have any you’d like to share, feel free to leave a comment down below!

If you do seek an actual professional who can aid you in your self-love/confidence journey, I highly recommend a great friend of mine, Fleur De Lyz Coaching.

Lystia of Fleur De Lyz Coaching offers holistic wellness coaching that can help you become your best in a powerful yet practical way.