Bella Dyosa

If you watch enough movies and TV shows, you will encounter at least one character that’s gung ho on their pursuit of happiness (pun intended – I have yet to watch the film though).

There may be a scene or two where this character gets asked, “Where do you want to be in five years?”

And they will answer without missing a beat, “To be happy.”

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When I was younger, this type of scene always used to tug at my heart strings. Like, YES, we’re all just lost souls on this planet trying to get by each day to find the secret antidote to happiness.

And there’s some truth to that.

But as I grew older (and I’d like to think, wiser), I found that the concept of happiness is often misunderstood. At least, society and the media’s concept of happiness is.

You see, happiness is simple yet complex. It’s simple in a way that we’re able to find happiness in the little things in life such as our favorite TV show or our favorite dish.

Or even that particular eye contact you have with your best friend amid a gathering, which is usually followed by laughter from an inside joke.

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On the other hand, happiness is complex in a way that in the grander scheme of things, it’s a concept that’s composed of several moments in life that contribute to our overall wellbeing.

It certainly is not a state we’re in 24/7. Which is what most people seek especially earlier on in life. They misunderstand what real happiness is all about (and I don’t blame them).

Think of an ordinary day. You’re not necessarily filled with joy, but you’re not down in the dumps either. You’re in that middle ground, where the day is what you make of it.

A common (though on a case to case basis, necessary) mistake one would make is panic and go into full existential crisis mode.

“What am I even doing right now? Why am I not in high spirits?? Is there something wrong with me or my life??? Is it all just supposed to be meaningless????”

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Girl, you’re fine. Take a few deep breaths to ground yourself in the present moment.

Asking yourself these questions is normal and valid. Because most of us are used to movement 90% of the time, we may subconsciously think that we’re stuck and we’re going nowhere when our surroundings are peaceful and still.

If you take a step back and look at the bigger picture though, you’ll find that you’re okay.

You may even come to the conclusion that you’re doing better than you thought. This particular moment or day just happens to be a bit more mundane than the others.

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It is what it is. We have days where we can get caught up in a whirlwind of tasks, responsibilities, and sudden happenings. Then, there are days where barely anything is stimulating our senses or catching our full attention.

We tend to notice these days more simply because there isn’t more to do. Situations where we are asked to just be. Believe it or not, there’s beauty in those types of days too.

That’s the flow of life.

We wouldn’t know what “fun” is supposed to be like if we didn’t encounter “boring” from time to time. We wouldn’t know “hecticness” without the presence of “calmness”. So on and so forth.

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All said and done, we live.

To live life on your own terms and to the fullest is what true happiness is. It is also a choice – to choose what lights you up despite the dullness, pain, and all circumstances in between.

At least, in my opinion.

So, I hope you find your own reframed definition of happiness. Because it’s one of the many beautiful things that make the human experience worthwhile.