Bella Dyosa

If you follow me on IG, you probably would’ve stumbled upon my post last month on authenticity inspired by the wave of kerfluffle during eclipse season.

If you don’t, well, at least you’re reading this blog post that’s basically an extension of that IG post.

Mental health was the talk of the town during the pandemic (which feels like eons ago) and rightfully so. We were all locked up in our homes unexpectedly, unsure of when the isolation was going to end.

Annie Spratt on Unsplash.com

All of a sudden now, it seems to have faded in the background. To make matters worse, some people and companies resorted back to the old ways of functioning.

As if their marketing campaigns on mental health never existed. I’m not here to name names, of course. It’s just a sad reality of inauthenticity.

Anyway, I’m not here to discuss authenticity itself. I’m here to discuss the aftermath or imbibing authenticity and how it’s important for our mental health to be seen, heard, and felt for that.

Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash.com

Story time: I was in talks with an awesome podcaster to be a guest on their podcast. We’ve been having a lot of back and forths since 2023. At first, we were supposed to record last fall, but a personal milestone came up for them. So, gladly postponed recording.

Early this year, they were slowly getting back into the groove of work. Naturally, I reached out to check on their availability and schedule. After a few follow-ups (via email and DM), they let me know that late February to early March was the best time for them.

The aforementioned period of time arrived and I heard nothing. Note that I follow this person on IG and regularly listen to their podcast. I’m aware that their schedule can get hectic. Upon hearing no word from them, I assumed that we’re postponing the recording and I will probably receive an email notification from them later on.

But then, multiple weeks later, they announced in their podcast that they’re going to be holding off on guest interviews until the fall. You can imagine my surprise and shock by this.

Nik on Unsplash.com

Although I was definitely triggered, I knew that I needed to take a step back and reflect. Being reactive in the situation wasn’t going to help. Especially with everything happening during retrograde and eclipse season.

I questioned my worthiness – Was I just not good enough to be a guest on the podcast? Was I not worth even a single email or a short and quick heads up via DM about this postponement of guest interviews? Was I not ready for this wonderful opportunity? That’s why it’s constantly being delayed?

I had to pause and process every emotion and thought coming up. It wasn’t easy. It was sticky and messy. Self-deprecating. I was taking the announcement so personally. When I dug deeper into that reaction, I realized that it was because I felt unseen, unheard, and unfelt.

Again, coming back to unworthiness. Eventually I came to the conclusion that what was happening wasn’t a reflection of myself and my inner work; but of themselves and their inner work.

Ashley Batz on Unsplash.com

A lot of factors come into play in one’s life and I can’t judge them for that. Sure, their communication (probably also organization) skills are off the mark, but was that equivalent to an incident as shitty as murdering someone? No.

The aftermath was challenging. So, what do I do? Do I protect myself by cutting them off and ignoring any possible future communication? Do I speak my truth and then sever the tie? Or do I leave the door open for the guesting opportunity?

Thanks to dear friends of mine who have held space for me and listened to me, I ended up speaking my truth and leaving the door open. At the end of the day, I value honesty and clear communication; calling someone out when needed. But of course, with grace and compassion.

I sent an email to them laying it all out. And the moment I hit send, I felt at peace. Mentally and emotionally.

Amy Treasure on Unsplash.com

It doesn’t matter whether or not I get a response from them. The important thing (for me at least) is that I had the chance to honor myself and my boundaries by speaking my truth from a place of kindness and understanding.

That applies to anyone and everyone reading this right now. What do you value? How do you express your authentic self? In what ways can you give yourself inner peace for the sake of your mental health?

The raw and honest answers to those questions will free you. It will peel back layers of yourself that you never even knew existed. Most importantly, it will help you see, hear, and feel the core of who you truly are.

That is what we’re here for and that is what makes our soul feel complete and whole. Without external validation and societal pressures; with unconditional love and pure joy.