Bella Dyosa

If you read the title of this blog post and a specific Letters to Cleo song played in your head, then you are one of my people. High-five! 🤪

Anyway, circling back to what we’re here for. Bridging the relationship between clarity–particularly clear communication–and kindness isn’t new, but I do believe it’s important to emphasize it.

Brené Brown once said, “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.” Even if I didn’t first hear this idea or concept from her, I wholeheartedly agree. And here’s why.

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Again, I am no expert. Unless being a graduate of Mass Communication counts lol. These insights are gathered through life experiences, especially in the past few years.

Being clear is being kind, simply because there is no wiggle room to bullshit anything – from your intentions to expectations. Think about it: if you are clear about your wants and needs in various situations in life, everything else falls into place naturally.

You decide to be upfront about your asks and expectations in a job interview. What happens? You either discover that you are suitable with the employer in front of you or find out that they’re not compatible with you.

In your close circle of friends or family, you talk about any habits are activities that are helping (or hindering) your relationship’s growth and ease. After that, you hash it out accordingly.

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In the dating world, you can voice out your honest intentions with people you encounter on dates. The result? They either are looking for the same exact status as you (whether a casual or a serious relationship) or not.

And no, ghosting is not a form of communication. On the one hand, if they’re being vague as fuck (possibly breadcrumbing), how unkind is that?

You are probably getting my drift by now. Clarity shows respect and trust for the other individual, but also yourself. You respect yourself enough to be honest about what you want and you trust yourself enough that even if your desire is not met or rejected, you’re going to be okay.

I would also like to clarify (pun intended) that being clear does not equate to being an asshole. Just like being honest doesn’t give someone the right to be crass or rude.

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Now, this may be a challenge for people pleasers. I am a recovering people pleaser myself, so if this is you too, don’t you worry, my friend. You are totally seen, heard, and felt!

A lot of us people pleasers may find clear communication intimidating, because we usually don’t like to rock the boat or ruffle any feathers. We don’t want to appear as disobedient or difficult.

However, allow me to put it into perspective for you: would you rather care so much about what people think for the rest of your life that you end up adding even more burden and chaos in your internal world OR be clear (ergo be kind) about your thoughts, opinions, expectations, intentions, and wants to others to attract and keep people who truly love and respect you?

The people that matter will always–and I mean, ALWAYS–respect what you have to say and hear you out. Even if they may disagree on some level, they will be more than willing to sort it out with you. To listen, understand, and empathize with where you’re coming from. To reciprocate utmost clarity and authentic kindness.

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In a literal sense, isn’t getting caught in a fog annoying anyway? You’re just putting one foot in front of the other without seeing any tangible path ahead of you. All you can do, really, is hope and pray that the fog will clear out sooner than later.

Or you can choose to stay in the same place. Frozen for eternity………….

I’m joking, of course.

Seriously though – stop creating and nurturing those fogs around you. It’s not doing anyone (yes, including yourself) any good.

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In fact, the world would be a better place if we were just clear-kind to everyone we encounter. Unfortunately, the world isn’t perfect, so we do our best on our end to make it as beautiful and meaningful as possible.

After all, life is too short to be walking on eggshells around people who aren’t meant to be in your life.

So, why not start by being clear to be kind? That’s already one step towards a reality with zero regrets and shame.