Bella Dyosa

I’m not gonna lie. This post may or may not be inspired by my previous one, which talked about clear (ergo, kind) communication.

A part of practicing clear-kind communication is owning and speaking your truth, whether it’s with a loved one or a colleague/business partner. I want to take that a step further by daring you to own and speak your truth from the heart.

How is that different from the former act? Well, for some people, it’s actually easy to own and speak their truth, but they’re all head and no heart. Vice versa–extreme heart, which is not what I’m about to relay.

Balancing head and heart is the ideal. Since I’ve included in the title of this post, “… from the heart” though, I am choosing the manner of owning and speaking your truth that is good and healing for the heart.

Long disclaimer aside, let’s get right to it. How exactly can we own and speak our truth from the heart? Here are three tried-and-tested steps from yours truly!

1. Process, purge, and release.

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Sounds intimidating, but processing, purging, and releasing emotions don’t have to be heavy. Also, this tip applies to those who have just realized their truth upon a conversation or any other activity.

Admit it: there are times when our truths bubble up to the surface in random moments. Processing, purging, and releasing the feelings that come up will be helpful to get to the core of your truth. In its purest form.

Cry, scream, punch a pillow – do whatever it takes truly feel all the feels without hurting or harming other people. This is what I was talking about earlier with “extreme heart”.

More often than not, we are able to speak our truth, but from a place of deep hurt. And you know what they say. Hurt people hurt people. We end up saying, even doing things we don’t mean just to feel better about ourselves or to get back at the other person (or worse, both).

Processing, purging, and releasing all emotions helps us get to the bottom of the matter. You have to remove the unnecessary debris to see and claim your most authentic truth.

2. Address and express.

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Now that you’ve gotten to the root of your truth, speak it. With clarity and kindness. This is going to be an easy task if you did the previous tip properly. No bullshit.

If you feel nervous about telling your truth to someone, you can always say it to yourself out loud first. You can also write it down. It may sound silly, but you’ll find that it actually helps to get it out there in some shape or form.

I’ve tried both methods (even had a talking points Google doc in hand lol) and they’ve calmed down my nerves. If you don’t like any of those, you can confide (maybe consult as well) your truth with a trusted loved one.

Speaking your truth doesn’t always have to be an in-the-moment, do-or-die situation. In fact, if, for example, you’re in the middle of a confrontation, you can choose to take a step back and do step 1 before addressing and expressing.

3. Let go.

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So, you’ve done it and your truth is out in the open. Here comes another challenging part: the other person or party’s reaction.

We are not mind readers – we will never know how people will react and we can’t please everyone. Which is why it’s best for you to let go of the outcome of speaking your truth.

If they are able to accept, understand, and respect your truth, that’s great! If they are willing to further discuss or ask questions about your truth, cool!

On the other hand, if they refuse to hear you out, or worse, react in a way that’s hurtful or harmful, then acknowledge the hostility and end the interaction with kindness.

Life’s too short to force someone (who clearly isn’t meant to be in your circle and has to deal with issues of their own) to see things your way. This is easier said than done, of course, especially if it’s an individual or group close to your heart.

But I hope that you take comfort in knowing that letting go of people who can’t hold space for you and give you the radical gratitude, acceptance, and love you deserve will simply make room for those who will.

Final thoughts

Let’s be real: owning and speaking your truth isn’t the easiest thing to do, especially if you are not used to it. The good news is that you can always start doing it now and improve as you go along.

You may not get it right or “polished” the first time, but you can self-reflect and be honest with yourself on how to become better at it.

Aim to be as clear, kind, and authentic as possible. Loosen your grip on the result and you are golden. You will know inner peace.

Isn’t that what a great and fulfilling life is all about?